At Least We’ll Always Have … Tony’s
By W. Owen Thornton

Humphrey Bogart’s line, “At least we’ll always have Paris,” from Casablanca has been modified because it lies at the heart of a single act of human kindness.  That act was a single phone call.  But in this instance, it’s not about Paris, but about a restaurant.  Let me explain.

I belong to an extended group of friends that get together about four times a year.  Within that cluster I see different people in different frequencies.  Due to distance, lifestyle and personal interests it’s difficult to see some of the group more than at just the regular quarterly gatherings.  But in one instance there was a couple that I really wanted to spend more time with because I thought we’d connect on more levels … but I was faced with the fact of how in the world do you work more folk into your life when life is already so busy.  Now I hope that statement doesn’t paint me in too negative of a light.  What I mean is that I am no different from anyone else.  Life is busier than I want and it’s a juggling act on how to find time to do the right and important things.

To tell you the honest truth, I’ve labored over finding the right idea as to how to incorporate these friends into more of our lives.  I’ve wanted to do this for a long time.  I knew that the idea had to work for both couples and that it had to be easy.  My problem was I kept coming up with complicated solutions. Then my wife picked up on something.  We knew that they liked a restaurant … one which we also liked but … that we didn’t make enough time for: I mean it was the other side of town and well, you know, you don’t go as often as you might like.  And so we invited the other couple to Tony’s.  It turned out I was right!  We did have lots in common.  Now we go to Tony’s about six times a year and always with this couple.  “Dinner” usually takes us between three and four hours, which means there’s always a lot more talking than there is eating.

I’ll wager that the four of us love doing this!  I say that because you don’t sit at a table for upwards of four hours where you’re having a bad time.  In fact, we’re usually having such a great time that we don’t realize how late it really is … until someone looks at their watch and is astounded!

Now you might question how all this relates to kindness.  Well, as we’ve discussed here, kindness is not only for others.  It can also be for you!  Now it turns out that I benefitted from becoming closer to some wonderful people and together all four of us have had some wonderful times.  I fully believe we are supposed to treat others as we treat ourselves and therefore how can we be kind to others if we are not kind to ourselves?  But it’s more than a selfish kindness I’m talking about here.  I believe asking others out to something they will enjoy, is also kind to them.  I have to go backwards a bit to get where I’m going with this.

There was a desire to get to know someone better that started the ball rolling.  I shamefully admit it took me years to come up with the solution (I mean for my wife to come up with the solution).  What is that really saying?  It says that I have thought of others so highly that on-and-off for a few years I’d been thinking of what we could do together that we could both mutually enjoy!  There’s a lot of power in that kind of sentiment … positive power!  And for my wife to understand my desire to spend time with this other couple, and to put it together with their love of a restaurant we also love … well that was a stroke of kindness-genius!  Okay, so I’ll admit we won’t win a Nobel Prize for this act, but I hope you sense the ‘feeling’ I’m trying to get across.

My life has been incredibly enriched by establishing this new, deeper relationship.  All it took was a desire, and idea … and a single act of kindness to put it all together: a phone call.  Don’t get me wrong here when I say that none of this is rocket science.  But it is the stuff that makes living a whole lot better.  Is there someone you’ve been thinking of getting together with?  Give them a call and see where things land.  It’s the human kindness thing to do!

Prinatble article