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What’s Funny Can Also be Sad … and Unkind
By W. Owen Thornton

I recently received one of those on-line jokes where someone combines words or makes them up in order to … well … accurately describe a situation where there isn’t a perfect real word to do the job.  Here’s the list, and do, please enjoy a chuckle!

Blamestorming: Where a group of people gather round to create a story as to why a project didn’t work out and who or what they can blame for the problem.

Assmosis: The process where someone gains success by ‘kissing you-know-what’ instead of working hard.

Salmon Day: Where someone experiences swimming upstream all day, only to get screwed in the end and die.

Adminisphere: Where decisions created above the rank and file employee are so ill suited to actually handling the problem, they create their own problems.

Here is a quick evaluation of each situation and a means to rectify these unkind office environments.

In an office where there is a great deal of blamestorming I’ve heard this called finger pointing and turret-building.  People are so busy blaming others for what’s gone wrong (finger pointing) that when they’re not pointing fingers, they’re busy building a turret around them so that when the finger-pointing assault is launched at them, they can be safe behind their walls.  Too much time is being wasted in Cover Your Back behaviour which offers no value and makes everyone on edge.  In the end, finding blame isn’t as important as pitching in and helping to fix the situation.  Successful companies have managers who give people realistic tasks which stretch employees.  However, when something runs amok the manager lets them down gracefully with a point to learn from and then helps employees correct the situation.  Blamestorming is a sign where time is being wasted.  Special note: inner office or departmental situations where competitions are used to incite a specific behavior can also build barriers in a similar way.  The result can cause barriers between arms of the same company which inhibits a smooth operation.  Remember that competition is only good for some souls whereas others are demotivated by it.  People are motivated by different things and good managers tailor programs to motivate people in unique ways.

In an office where butt-kissers prosper, one group is happy (obviously?) while the rank and file folk not kissing you-know-what, are often unhappy.  Regular, good folk are demotivated by seeing sometimes unworthy folk get ahead cause they’re the boss’s favourite.  They think, “Why do the work when the other’s get the glory?”  This one is difficult because everyone likes to be flattered and praised.  Resist allowing Assmosis to exist in your office by doing your best to treat everyone equally.  For me, I believe it is best to resist creating policies to frame good behaviour because these policies can sometimes be constraining and harmful to creativity in the workplace.  Oh, and this works for the squeaky wheel too: the person who complains the loudest, gets all the new stuff: office furniture, computer, split screens, etc.  If everyone is treated equally, no one is jealous of the other … well … in theory, anyway!

Salmon Days may be difficult to avoid.  Sometimes work is a fight and you lose in the end.  Best to put on your empathy hat and offer people a chance to vent, without allowing them to pick up their stones.  Okay.  I know that’s a combination of two metaphors and it needs explaining.  Complaints are like stones in a knapsack that weigh us down.  When dumping them it is like we take out each stone (complaint) and set it on the desk between us.  Once done, we have all our stones out of our knapsack and our load is supposed to be lighter.  However, often, we come back late at night and pick them up and place them back in our knapsack.  This act then, seems to give us the right to complain about the same things at another time.  The cycle is unhelpful and wastes time.  To avoid this waste of time do the following.

When listening to a complaint or host of them write down the complaints, this solidifies in the mind of the complainer that you’re really listening.  If a complaint is repeated you can say, “I’ve already got that one down.”  Next, save the list.  The idea here is that you are supposed to listen once.  After that, if they mention it again, pull out the written list and ask them what they would like to do about the problem.  How are they going to solve it?  Encourage them to defeat their demons on their own otherwise you’ll be rescuing them forever.  If you hear their idea and it requires your help, help them if you can.  Do your part and let them do their part.  Check in with them … see if they followed up.

Sometimes complaints about bad days are habitual.  We wear them like cheap overalls.  They are comfortable, even when the knees are worn out.  Refusing to let people continue to complain and helping them to help themselves is like allowing them to take off those old coveralls and wear something shiny and new.  I realize this isn’t exactly about Salmon Days, but it is good methodology anyway.

When it comes to habitual problems Administrators should seek assistance from the people in the trenches dealing with the problem on a regular basis.  Often they can see the solution easier than those not directly involved.  Sometimes the folks in the trenches lack the ability or authority to bring about the necessary changes to make the workplace better.  It is the Administration’s responsibility to ensure a smooth work flow, and that includes helping set reasonable policies based on inclusive information and input from the employees to establish a solution that works. 

Sometimes rules from ‘on high’ are required.  Most often, we can let the team decide on the solution!  If they already have buy-in, it makes it easier to implement.

Cheers, and make sure you’re kind to folks out there, eh?