Finding the Root of the Problem
Finding the Root of the Problem
A recent survey of drivers discovered an alarming 32 percent of people said that they drive aggressively because it's fun. We're definitely acting contrary to human kindness when we drive aggressively. But why do we do it?
If we recall information previously shared with you from the book Social Intelligence, by Daniel Goleman, we know that with an act that is fun comes a positive release of chemicals in the brain ... a chemical release which when we take that chemical back up into ourselves we interpret as 'fun' or as a 'high.' We could do many things to create this high that wouldn't put our own lives or the lives of others in jeopardy. So why do we drive in an unsafe manner to get our highs? This seems to be an extreme way to get our jolly's!
A better question is will new Ontario laws to immediately impound vehicles which speed excessively change this behaviour? We don't know. It very well may change the behaviour of the man caught driving on a local city street at 132 kilometers/hour. But will it change the behaviour of those who are not caught? The answer is, yes, it probably will slow down a few people.
But the better question is, what's wrong with a society where we have to drive fast for 'fun?' And, isn't catching people and treating them in a punitive fashion after they've committed the crime a little ... well ... after-the-fact? Wouldn't it be great if we could do the right things that encourage people to have 'fun' in safer, friendlier ways? Why do we continue to be a 'pill' culture, fixing things that we've already done? Wouldn't doing things to prevent the poor behaviour in advance of people thinking they need to do these things ... wouldn't that be the way to go?
Recently I read Plato's Phaedo, the fictional account of the death of Socrates. Basically Socrates was the world's first and foremost philosopher. In the Phaedo, Socrates was looking for a way to separate his mind from the temptations of the body ... the things that we do that we 'think' make the body happy that we don't want to do because it doesn't make the mind happy. Folks, that's 2,500 plus years ago that we first started thinking along these lines. Two great questions are, why haven't we found the answer to that and when will we wake up and smell the coffee? When will we see our vast human potential and elevate ourselves above empty, fast-driving gratification?
Wouldn't it be wonderful to find the answer. If we could help people discover the things which make them happy before they become road-driving thrill seekers we ask what that world would look like. Instead of speeding and lane changing to get a high, what would we be doing? We'd have the freedom, insight and time to learn that we should be ... maybe an artist and that painting can give us that high, or writing, or fixing a car engine, or whatever it is that sets our individual hearts on fire ... we'd be doing the things that we love and that give us, each one of us, personal meaning. (And going faster only clouds our perspective and takes us in the exact opposite direction of where we will discover what we're here for!) And instead of looking down upon someone for doing what WE think is weird, we would celebrate that they have discovered their calling, thus opening the door for more and more people to find and do what they are meant to do in this world. Ah. A world filled with acceptance and human kindness.
So are we living joyless lives that we have to speed and risk lives on the roads to bring us pseudo happiness? We're going faster and faster down a treadmill to feed the happiness we crave for our bodies, but our minds, our hearts, our souls are craving for love, joy and the opportunity to do that which we were placed on this earth to do ... whatever that is for you. And all that takes is a little human kindness ... a single act you can do this very day to make the world a better place for others. And in doing that, in opening that door, in introducing yourself to a stranger, you've let others know that the world is okay. That people do care. That there is reason to hope things will change. That if I do something for me it will matter not only to me, but to you too. And that also helps give people permission to try ... to step out and do something really mind-altering in a wonderful way which may even impact us!
In a course in prayer, I learned these two following things. STP stands for the order of a prayer: Sorry, Thank-you, Please. We ask for forgiveness for the times and moments where either we willingly sinned or where we sinned by omission -- in other words where we didn't do something we should have. Then we thank God for all the things we have and then, lastly we ask for God's assistance in things. This is a good pattern which should only be altered marginally. After we thank God for the things we have in our own lives, we need to then ask for blessings for people and situations outside of ourselves. This makes our prayers more meaningful. It takes just some of the energy that is focused on ourselves and places it outside of ourselves and this praying for others idea then offers hope that we make the world a better place for those we pray for. It makes our prayer less selfish and more humble and therefore more meaningful.
I tell you this not because you are a group who prays necessarily, but to demonstrate how we need to think about others and this world in general. In part life is about us. But mostly it is about everything and everyone else too. We are a mere thread in the fabric of this world. It is up to us how that pattern will look. Will we weave a pattern of human kindness and love, creating a wondrous world ... and that is a potential this world offers ... or will that tapestry look like one giant accident on a roadway?
When we start thinking of others and praying for things for others, in wishing good things for others, we open the door for them, which in turn opens the door for us too. It feels a little mercenary, I know, but its the way it is. It is what we have. It at least opens the door for people to be themselves and accepted as themselves. And if we can create that space, we may slow down or maybe even stop people from having the need to speed to feel 'high.'
New life highs might be discovered in finishing writing a book, writing a letter to a friend, helping a friend through a crisis, or assisting someone by going the extra mile to help them achieve a life-long dream. That's human kindness. That's the world I'm trying to help create. That's the world people have given me so I can do what I need to do. I need to start finding a way to allow others to be themselves. I dare not be that selfish and cling to my own story and run away laughing at those who struggle with who they are and what they want to be and doing that which builds them up, rather than risking their lives for kicks.
And in the meantime I have to let go of the negative energy contained within me when I am frightened by a speeder passing me in the left hand turn lane because I dare to drive the speed limit ... because I dare to follow the rules of the road we as a society have decided make sense ... but that which many of us have determined these rules no longer apply to them. I say this not because of the hurt and anger inside, but in a factual manner which might appear ugly so we can truly see and comprehend what we are doing to others when we drive aggressively.
It's a difficult thing, then, to attempt to remain kind and to practice human kindness without becoming embittered by those who are getting their vicarious thrills by driving aggressively. The best I think I can achieve is to feel sorry for them that their lives are so complex, their minds and bodies are racing so fast that they cannot find joy in any other way than to risk their lives (and mine). So I must back off doubly ... let go of the negative energy of their offense against me and society and then turn around and do my best to be kind to someone, so that I effect the world in a way as to prevent someone else from having to drive fast. And that is all I have to offer in this situation. And that has to be enough!
Cheers, my friends. Please remember, and in this way only I am like Socrates. I truly believe I don't have a clue what I'm talking about, here. I mean I think I'm right, right now, but I reserve the right to change my mind down the road. This is just the place where I arrived today. I know too that this is longer than a 'short thought' but ... well ... there you are!
Owen
A recent survey of drivers discovered an alarming 32 percent of people said that they drive aggressively because it's fun. We're definitely acting contrary to human kindness when we drive aggressively. But why do we do it?
If we recall information previously shared with you from the book Social Intelligence, by Daniel Goleman, we know that with an act that is fun comes a positive release of chemicals in the brain ... a chemical release which when we take that chemical back up into ourselves we interpret as 'fun' or as a 'high.' We could do many things to create this high that wouldn't put our own lives or the lives of others in jeopardy. So why do we drive in an unsafe manner to get our highs? This seems to be an extreme way to get our jolly's!
A better question is will new Ontario laws to immediately impound vehicles which speed excessively change this behaviour? We don't know. It very well may change the behaviour of the man caught driving on a local city street at 132 kilometers/hour. But will it change the behaviour of those who are not caught? The answer is, yes, it probably will slow down a few people.
But the better question is, what's wrong with a society where we have to drive fast for 'fun?' And, isn't catching people and treating them in a punitive fashion after they've committed the crime a little ... well ... after-the-fact? Wouldn't it be great if we could do the right things that encourage people to have 'fun' in safer, friendlier ways? Why do we continue to be a 'pill' culture, fixing things that we've already done? Wouldn't doing things to prevent the poor behaviour in advance of people thinking they need to do these things ... wouldn't that be the way to go?
Recently I read Plato's Phaedo, the fictional account of the death of Socrates. Basically Socrates was the world's first and foremost philosopher. In the Phaedo, Socrates was looking for a way to separate his mind from the temptations of the body ... the things that we do that we 'think' make the body happy that we don't want to do because it doesn't make the mind happy. Folks, that's 2,500 plus years ago that we first started thinking along these lines. Two great questions are, why haven't we found the answer to that and when will we wake up and smell the coffee? When will we see our vast human potential and elevate ourselves above empty, fast-driving gratification?
Wouldn't it be wonderful to find the answer. If we could help people discover the things which make them happy before they become road-driving thrill seekers we ask what that world would look like. Instead of speeding and lane changing to get a high, what would we be doing? We'd have the freedom, insight and time to learn that we should be ... maybe an artist and that painting can give us that high, or writing, or fixing a car engine, or whatever it is that sets our individual hearts on fire ... we'd be doing the things that we love and that give us, each one of us, personal meaning. (And going faster only clouds our perspective and takes us in the exact opposite direction of where we will discover what we're here for!) And instead of looking down upon someone for doing what WE think is weird, we would celebrate that they have discovered their calling, thus opening the door for more and more people to find and do what they are meant to do in this world. Ah. A world filled with acceptance and human kindness.
So are we living joyless lives that we have to speed and risk lives on the roads to bring us pseudo happiness? We're going faster and faster down a treadmill to feed the happiness we crave for our bodies, but our minds, our hearts, our souls are craving for love, joy and the opportunity to do that which we were placed on this earth to do ... whatever that is for you. And all that takes is a little human kindness ... a single act you can do this very day to make the world a better place for others. And in doing that, in opening that door, in introducing yourself to a stranger, you've let others know that the world is okay. That people do care. That there is reason to hope things will change. That if I do something for me it will matter not only to me, but to you too. And that also helps give people permission to try ... to step out and do something really mind-altering in a wonderful way which may even impact us!
In a course in prayer, I learned these two following things. STP stands for the order of a prayer: Sorry, Thank-you, Please. We ask for forgiveness for the times and moments where either we willingly sinned or where we sinned by omission -- in other words where we didn't do something we should have. Then we thank God for all the things we have and then, lastly we ask for God's assistance in things. This is a good pattern which should only be altered marginally. After we thank God for the things we have in our own lives, we need to then ask for blessings for people and situations outside of ourselves. This makes our prayers more meaningful. It takes just some of the energy that is focused on ourselves and places it outside of ourselves and this praying for others idea then offers hope that we make the world a better place for those we pray for. It makes our prayer less selfish and more humble and therefore more meaningful.
I tell you this not because you are a group who prays necessarily, but to demonstrate how we need to think about others and this world in general. In part life is about us. But mostly it is about everything and everyone else too. We are a mere thread in the fabric of this world. It is up to us how that pattern will look. Will we weave a pattern of human kindness and love, creating a wondrous world ... and that is a potential this world offers ... or will that tapestry look like one giant accident on a roadway?
When we start thinking of others and praying for things for others, in wishing good things for others, we open the door for them, which in turn opens the door for us too. It feels a little mercenary, I know, but its the way it is. It is what we have. It at least opens the door for people to be themselves and accepted as themselves. And if we can create that space, we may slow down or maybe even stop people from having the need to speed to feel 'high.'
New life highs might be discovered in finishing writing a book, writing a letter to a friend, helping a friend through a crisis, or assisting someone by going the extra mile to help them achieve a life-long dream. That's human kindness. That's the world I'm trying to help create. That's the world people have given me so I can do what I need to do. I need to start finding a way to allow others to be themselves. I dare not be that selfish and cling to my own story and run away laughing at those who struggle with who they are and what they want to be and doing that which builds them up, rather than risking their lives for kicks.
And in the meantime I have to let go of the negative energy contained within me when I am frightened by a speeder passing me in the left hand turn lane because I dare to drive the speed limit ... because I dare to follow the rules of the road we as a society have decided make sense ... but that which many of us have determined these rules no longer apply to them. I say this not because of the hurt and anger inside, but in a factual manner which might appear ugly so we can truly see and comprehend what we are doing to others when we drive aggressively.
It's a difficult thing, then, to attempt to remain kind and to practice human kindness without becoming embittered by those who are getting their vicarious thrills by driving aggressively. The best I think I can achieve is to feel sorry for them that their lives are so complex, their minds and bodies are racing so fast that they cannot find joy in any other way than to risk their lives (and mine). So I must back off doubly ... let go of the negative energy of their offense against me and society and then turn around and do my best to be kind to someone, so that I effect the world in a way as to prevent someone else from having to drive fast. And that is all I have to offer in this situation. And that has to be enough!
Cheers, my friends. Please remember, and in this way only I am like Socrates. I truly believe I don't have a clue what I'm talking about, here. I mean I think I'm right, right now, but I reserve the right to change my mind down the road. This is just the place where I arrived today. I know too that this is longer than a 'short thought' but ... well ... there you are!
Owen
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